You Can Lose Joint Custody Because of This One Common Mistake (2023)

Introduction

I've had an experience with a client losing joint custody because of a common mistake I've witnessed.*


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I was just in a continuing legal education seminar and there were a lot of topics and a lot of panels that were presented and one of the things that really struck me was a presentation where the speaker was talking about how a parent who shares joint custody with the other parent had gotten custody taken away from her.

What happened was she started making major decisions about her child without including the other parent in that conversation. As I thought about it I thought you know this is not the first time I've heard about something like this happening.

In fact, it's come up in my practice a lot and it actually just came up last week. I had an interaction with the woman who lived in Arizona and she shares joint custody with a guy and based on what she's saying he's not the best dad. He was not an involved parent doesn't interact with their daughter at all. So she decided that she needed to move because she had more support in another state.

So without asking for permission from the court or without getting the approval of the father she just left. She left the state of Arizona and this is a big problem. I think it's a big deal and I talked to her about it and I said I understand he's not the best dad in your eyes but there's a proper way to try and do this especially when you share joint decision-making with the other parents.

The proper way is to actually talk to that person about what it is that you're thinking of doing whatever it is. Whether it's moving to another state; whether it's moving your child or children to a different school; whether it's to put your children on medication or whether to get your child counseling for some issues that he or she is having. These are major decisions and when you share joint decision-making with the other parents you have to that parent in the conversation. If you don't, you risk really upsetting a judge.

The judge could determine that it is clear to him or her that you cannot co-parent with the other parent and because of that he or she is going to give the other parent sole custody or sole decision making. This has happened and it does happen and I don't want it to happen to you. As much as the other parent may not be involved; as much as they may be a jerk or create conflict you have to try.

I would recommend that you document your attempts at having that conversation. If you can put them in an email or put them in a text message. If you meet with the other parent send an email of recapping your meeting but just make the effort. It’s really important in the eyes of the judge that you make the effort. So if you share joint decision-making talking to other parents if you have sold decision-making over your child I think you should still talk the other parent even though you may have the final say over what ultimately happens on the big issue.

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Wendy Hernandez is a family law attorney in Phoenix, AZ and founder of Command the Courtroom which teaches you how to handle yourself in court and achieve the best outcome when representing yourself in your divorce or child custody case.

Facebook: www.facebook.com/commandthecourtroom
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This video recording is for educational purposes only and should not be considered as the rendering of legal advice. The viewing of this recording does not create an attorney-client relationship. An attorney-client relationship is only formed when you have signed an engagement agreement. We cannot guarantee results. Past results do not guarantee future results. Consult with a licensed attorney for information regarding the specifics of your case. #custody #custodybattle #childcustody #custodyrights #custodycourt #custodycases #custodylawyers

Content

Hi it's, Wendy, Hernandez with command, the courtroom in this week's video want to talk with you about how you can increase the chances that you won't get custody taken away from you if you share joint custody or joint decision-making with the other parent.

So I, always just in a continuing legal education seminar.

And there was a lot of topics and a lot of panels that were presented.

And one of the things that really struck me was a presentation where the speaker was talking about how a parent who shared joint custody with the other parent had gotten custody taken away from her, because she started making major decisions about her child without including the other parents in that conversation.

And as I thought about it I thought, you know, this is not the first time I've heard about something like this happening and it's come up in my practice a lot and it actually it just came up last week.

I had an interaction with a woman who lived in Arizona, and she shares joint custody with a guy.

And based on what she's saying, he's, not the best dad he's, not an involved, parent, doesn't, pay child support.

He doesn't visit with their daughter at all.

So she decided that she needed to move because she had more support in another state.

So without asking for permission from the court without getting the approval of the father, she just left, and she left the state of Arizona.

And this is a big problem.

I think, it's a big deal and I talked to her about it and I said, I understand he's, not the best dad in your eyes, but there's a proper way to do this, especially when you share joint decision-making with the other parents.

And the proper way is to actually talk to that person about what it is that you're thinking is doing whatever it is whether it's moving to another state, whether it's moving your child or children to a different school, whether it's to put your children on medication or your child on medication for a DD.

For example, whether it's to get your child counseling for some issues that he or she is having these are major decisions.

And when you share joint decision-making with the other parent, you have to include that pair in the conversation.

If you don't, you risk really upsetting the judge and upsetting a judge to the appointments judge.

So if you know what it's clear that you cannot co-parent with the other parent, and because of that I'm going to get it the other parent sole custody or sole decision making.

And this has happened.

It happens.

I don't.

Want it to happen to you.

So as much as the other parent may not be involved as much as they may be a jerk or create conflict, you have to try and I would recommend that you document your attempts at conversations.

If you can put them in an email, put them in a text message.

If you meet with the other parents said, then email recapping your meeting, but make the effort you have to make the effort, it's really important in the eyes of the judge.

So if you share joint decision-making talk to each other parent, if you have sole decision-making over your child, I think you should still talk to the other parent, even though you may have the final say over what ultimately happens on the major issue, but that's a whole nother topic for a different day.

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FAQs

Can you lose custody for having an OnlyFans account? ›

Despite recent movement toward decriminalization of prostitution and increasing acceptance of internet-based sex work, such as the use of platforms like OnlyFans, sex work and any other sexual behavior can and likely will be considered by a judge when determining child custody.

Can keeping a child away from the other parent backfire? ›

Keeping a child away from the other parent can backfire in serious and permanent ways. If the other parent feels that the situation will not resolve itself, they have the legal right to bring the matter before the court to enforce the existing court order regarding the parenting plan and their visitation rights.

How a mother can lose a custody battle in Florida? ›

Florida Statute 751.05 describes a parent as unfit if they have “abused, abandoned, or neglected the child.” Parents that are deemed unfit by Florida courts can lose child custody for not only failing to meet the child's best interest but also endangering the child.

Why do parents fight for custody? ›

For Power & Control

One reason a parent may fight a child custody order is that they insist on being in control of every aspect of the children or the dissolved family. To lose their power over the other members of the family feels like a failure, and that is unacceptable.

Will a background check show OnlyFans? ›

Yes, your OnlyFans account can show up on a background check if the prospective employer ran a comprehensive check, and you have received a 1099 tax form from OnlyFans.

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A content creator can be charged with criminal offenses based on a complaint of unlawful nudity in public places after the content is posted on OnlyFans. While the action was not “caught in the act,” OnlyFans content can be used as evidence against the person who produced it in court.

How do you get rid of a toxic co parent? ›

6 Ways to Deal With a Toxic Co-Parent
  1. Establish Healthy Boundaries. ...
  2. Communicate Effectively and Strategically. ...
  3. Do NOT Be Reactive. ...
  4. Let Go of What You Cannot Control. ...
  5. Remember to Take Time to Care For Yourself. ...
  6. Get Support From a San Antonio Child Custody Attorney.
Jul 6, 2021

What is malicious parent syndrome examples? ›

In one example of malicious parent syndrome, a parent told the children they could not afford food because the other parent had wasted all their money. In another example, a parent misinformed the other parent about school activities.

What is malicious parent disorder? ›

As mentioned, malicious parent syndrome is an extreme type of behavior in which the a parent goes to great lengths to disrupt the life of their ex-spouse and create turmoil in the relationship with their children.

At what age can a child refuse to see a parent in Florida? ›

As such, there is no specific age at which the court can consider a child's preference, but the child must be old enough and mature enough to be able to express a time-sharing preference to the court. Then, the court can consider the child's preference in addition to other relevant factors.

Who wins custody battles more in Florida? ›

While from a statistical standpoint it would appear mothers win more custody battles than fathers, a custody outcome typically has little to do with the gender of the parent. Society and individual prejudices often lead people to believe judges and court officials prefer mothers to fathers.

What is the definition of an unstable parent? ›

Examples of unfit parents include those who have drug or alcohol problems and foster an unsafe living environment as a result or a parent with a mental illness who is unstable.

What is an example of co parent harassment? ›

Harassment may take several forms, such as verbal, physical, or financial. It can also extend to social media, which is also called cyber harassment. Co-parenting harassment can include such things as excessive and repeated text messages or calls, name-calling, and threatening or condescending behavior.

How long do custody battles usually last? ›

Courts usually have a tight schedule, and it'll take several trial dates before a child custody case is resolved. Most of the time, hearings get rescheduled due to various factors, and sometimes, a child custody case might take up to 18 months or more before it's concluded.

What are the psychological effects of losing custody? ›

Depression: Changes to your relationship with your child may leave you feeling sad, hopeless or depressed. Anger: It's common for people to feel angry and irritable when custody arrangements change. Some people feel that they have lost control of their child, or feel that decisions are unfair or unjust.

Can social media be used in custody cases? ›

In short, the answer to the question of “can Facebook posts be used in custody cases?” is “yes.” If you're badmouthing the other parent on social media, making statements in jest that you don't want to be around your kids, or posting pictures of your kids with someone that they shouldn't be around, you may find that ...

Is it cheating if your husband has an OnlyFans account? ›

Finding an OnlyFans account is somewhat different. Your reaction will largely depend on how you feel about your partner paying for explicit content and how much they are engaging with creators. Some people consider it cheating; others do not. Take some time to figure out what it might mean for the two of you.

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If you're promoting something secretly and you mention it publicly, then it's not a secret. The best way is to install the OnlyFans app on your phone and start following people you wouldn't typically follow. Even if your friends and family follow you, they will not see your content post unless you refer them.

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Part of the Onlyfans Terms of Use says: “1.4 The Website is only offered and available to Users who are 18 years of age or older. By using the Website, you represent and warrant that you are 18 years of age, that you are of legal age to form a binding contract with FIL.

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